Gilbert Gottfried Zitate – Sprüche auf Englisch mit Übersetzung

Zitat des Tages von Gilbert Gottfried:

I changed the face of comedy. I used to be funny.

There definitely is exposure in reality shows, but the exposure will basically get you more reality shows.

Gilbert Gottfried

I used to go to the Improvisation Comedy Club every night in Times Square. How I didn't get killed in that area either means that 1) God is watching over me or 2) I am so insignificant to God that he didn't bother having me killed.

Gilbert Gottfried

I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.

Gilbert Gottfried

I'm used to explaining to people why my jokes were funny.

Gilbert Gottfried

When you watch Robin Williams, you can see a lot of Jonathan Winters. Robin is the first one to admit that; he worshiped Jonathan Winters.

Gilbert Gottfried

I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.

Gilbert Gottfried

If the police ever try to pick me up, Michael Jackson told me I can hide out at his house.

Gilbert Gottfried

I'd make Jack Benny look like a philanthropist.

Gilbert Gottfried

I found out about Jonathan Winters' death a day after it happened. That seems wrong. A talent like his should be more revered. The world knew about Kim Kardashian's divorce before she did.

Gilbert Gottfried

I guess if they ever do a remake of 'Sophie's Choice,' I could play the Meryl Streep part. I've got to work on my Polish accent. Maybe I'll be the definitive King Lear one day. You know, if they ever feel that King Lear should be more Jewy.

Gilbert Gottfried

I was Jewish, through and through, although in our house that didn't mean a whole lot. We never went to synagogue. I never had a Bar Mitzvah. We didn't keep kosher or observe the Sabbath. In fact, I'm not so sure I would have known what the Sabbath looked like if it passed me on the street, so how could I observe it?

Gilbert Gottfried

I find Washington audiences are basically the same as every other audience; they watch me and go, 'Who's idea was it to go see him? And is it too late to ask for my money back?'

Gilbert Gottfried

Well, I play Jews and parrots. Parrots are how I've branched out.

Gilbert Gottfried

I always feel that most political jokes, if you're going to do them, you have to do them within the next five minutes, or else they're outdated. By the time you've got it to the point that it's strong, it would be 12 years old.

Gilbert Gottfried

Nothing can help my comedy.

Gilbert Gottfried

Some comedians tell nice jokes that you can tell to your kids. Some use bad words - they work 'blue.' If you don't want to hear a joke that's blue, you shouldn't go to a comedy club where a comedian who makes blue jokes is performing.

Gilbert Gottfried

Reality TV has totally destroyed soap operas. They're gone. They used to be the biggest thing in the world - they're gone.

Gilbert Gottfried

I'm terrible when I have to fill up free time. My days, if I'm not working, I wake up and figure out a way to kill time until it's time to go to sleep.

Gilbert Gottfried

Well, I'm eventually gonna take the Daryl Hannah parts.

Gilbert Gottfried

Comedy historians take note: this Gottfried character doesn't have the best eye for detail - and, for a Jew, he doesn't have the best eye for retail, either.

Gilbert Gottfried

Unfortunately, I've never been mistaken as Johnny Depp.

Gilbert Gottfried

If I could cause world peace by taking someone out to lunch, I'd go, 'Well, war isn't that terrible.'

Gilbert Gottfried

The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever.

Gilbert Gottfried

No, generally I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism.

Gilbert Gottfried

I've never understood people who say they're not a practicing Jew. You never hear a black guy say he's not a practicing African-American. What does it even mean?

Gilbert Gottfried

My Bubbie lived to 104, which is probably a little too old to consider a ripe old age, because she had already started to turn. I still say she died young.

Gilbert Gottfried

If you're a lead actor, people are just waiting to say 'you're too old' or 'you're too unhip.' If you're a supporting actor, you can just work forever.

Gilbert Gottfried

The joy of the roasts is to watch people get hurt and offended, and then have to laugh to pretend they're a good sport.

Gilbert Gottfried

I always wish the hotels were like they are in movies and TV shows, where if you're in Paris, right outside your window is the Eiffel Tower. In Egypt, the pyramids are right there. In the movies, every hotel has a monument right outside your window. My hotel rooms overlook the garbage dumpster in the back alley.

Gilbert Gottfried

There are certain things I don't want to joke about. If it's about somebody else, it's fine. If it's about me, I think it's totally insensitive!

Gilbert Gottfried

I think of Alan Thicke as Perry Como without the excitement.

Gilbert Gottfried

I changed the face of comedy. I used to be funny.

Gilbert Gottfried

Off-camera, I sound like Perry Como.

Gilbert Gottfried

If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better.

Gilbert Gottfried

I don't know if I change my act from century to century. Sometimes I'm onstage doing imitations and references to people who have been dead for 50 years.

Gilbert Gottfried

A lot of people who claim they're political comedians are just comedians who have opinions. But they stop being funny the minute they give their opinions.

Gilbert Gottfried