Coco Chanel once said that what makes a woman look old is trying desperately to look young. Why should one be ashamed to be 84? Why do you have to say that you're 52? Nobody's going to believe you anyway, so why be such a fool? It's nice that you got to be so old. It's a blessing.
One day, we had a layoff at my job. And I went to my boss, and I said, 'Please save someone else's job. This is a win-win situation for the company and me - and just lay me off.' I did that in around 2003, and I never looked back. I became a full-time comic.
The States is run by the Federal Reserve, an institution that answers only to itself and to a few large banks. It's modelled on the Bank of England. Ben Franklin said that one of the main reasons America revolted was to get away from the Bank of England, the mother of all central banks - the most pernicious and insidious of all.
When I was growing up, I said to my ex-girlfriend, 'I will not be successful until everyone in Holland knows my name.' And it worked.
The only foreign policy advice I heard from China was when they said to Sudan, 'Don't go back to war.' That's all they said. They didn't push anything else.
I'd be lying if I said that any part of writing is easy for me, but I have always found that setting comes more naturally to me than, say, writing action scenes.
The really good idea is always traceable back quite a long way, often to a not very good idea which sparked off another idea that was only slightly better, which somebody else misunderstood in such a way that they then said something which was really rather interesting.
A Mormon knows that the promises of God are true, and He said that all will be tried; realizing these things the Latter-day Saints will acknowledge their Maker not only in blessings but also in tribulations.
I gave guitar lessons. I tried to join bands. My mom always said it was obvious that nothing was going to stop me.
I played softball and basketball growing up. I really wanted to play football but both parents said no. I was mad for a second, then got over it. Now, just because I'm tall doesn't mean I can play basketball. I was waaaaay better at swinging a bat.
Everybody said, 'You hit it so big when you were on 'Ally McBeal.' ' I didn't do anything for a year after 'Ally McBeal,' and I had to write David Kelley to get myself back on 'Ally' a second time because I thought the character should be on again.
I said to my mother, 'When you see my name in 'Vogue,' I will have arrived.'
Walt Disney always said, 'For every laugh, there should be a tear.' I believe in that.
I've said before, if you're going to earnestly sing a song around a campfire, you'd better be a Muppet!
I think, for a long time, people just did not know what to do with me. I looked like a Barbie doll, and then I had this voice like I spend my life in a bar, and I said things that were alarming and had ideas that didn't make sense.
Remember that bodily exercise, when it is well ordered, as I have said, is also prayer by means of which you can please God our Lord.
I bounce my knees, but I do not have restless leg syndrome. I did an interview, I don't even know who it was with, and they said I told them I have restless leg syndrome and it distracts me from my work. I do not have any syndrome.
Hip-hop is one of the most free art forms there is. There's so many sounds you can use, so many things you can bring in. You never know, man. I bet years ago people would've never said they would hear me with Rick Ross, and we did four classic songs together.
I had underwear thrown on stage that said 'Gokey' on the back... all glittery! It was grandma-underwear, too.
No one said anything to my face, but I constantly heard comments denigrating Jews.
There's more outrage on Twitter about a One Direction split or about what one band member said to another than there is about institutionalized racism and something huge.
I would be lying if I said I cut out all dessert. When I'm training, I try to satisfy those cravings with a slightly healthier dessert, like a piece of dark chocolate or whipped cream and strawberries. Those are two of my favorites!
People have said, 'You don't need to do any more biopics. You don't need to play any more real people.' I don't agree with that.
Every fight brings out something different in me, and it will be no different in this one. I have learned and gained from all of those experiences. And as I've often said, the public hasn't seen the best of me yet. I need someone like Mayweather to bring that out of me.
I'm in the trenches; I do the best work I can always do. Having said that, the way that what I do converges with the outside world is fascinating to me. Because it ebbs and flows. People's interest and understanding, it changes all the time.
Being an artist is not easy - I have always said that to the students I have taught over the years. It's a huge sacrifice.
If my mother hadn't laughed at the funny things I did, I probably wouldn't be a comic actor. After she had her first heart attack, the doctor said, 'Try to make her laugh.' And that was the first time I tried to make anyone laugh.
I was so glad to get out of the cotton patch and stop pickin' cotton, I wouldn't of cared who come by and said, 'I'll take you to Chicago.'
I try to avoid describing one interpretation of my books. Of course I have an opinion. I have things I want to say, but I don't ever want to limit anybody, to have them say, 'Oh, he said this, so that's what it's about.' I'm happy people bring their own stuff to it.
The only lottery I've ever won was a $100 scratch-off card at age 16, and the 7-Eleven clerk who sold it to me said I was too young to claim my winnings.
I'd done a big movie that I wasn't happy with, and I was moving out of London when I got approached about Barton Fink, because my agent said the brothers were in London. We hit it off immediately, and suddenly I found myself on the way to America!
A writer appears in everything that he does. That said, I felt like writing characters with my own name, in fact, provided me with something of a smoke screen.
I have always said that, more than 'big bang' reforms, it is every day what is happening, changing on the ground.
The Washingtonian said it shouldn't be built. The gallery's East Building is now considered a triumph, and members of the American Association of Architects have voted it one of the best buildings of all time.
I realized that, for me, great records always moved me with the lyrics and the melodies. And so I said, 'I think I can do it now,' 'cause I found a team of people who understand I didn't want a record that was 'drop it, pop it, shake it' just 'cause I can dance.
I had a reporter ask me how much I weigh. I said to him, 'You go first: How much do you weigh?' People always ask me what I eat. Other artists don't get asked these questions.
