Zitat des Tages von Dane Cook:
Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.
I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.
I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.
In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak.
I had never done a roast, but I really wanted to, because it's so different from standup.
You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.
That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.
I work with a lot of kids. Every year, for the past fifteen years, I work at Comedy Camp where I work with a lot of kids.
I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.
In the year 3000, everything will be instant.
I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.
I don't write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous.
I get so into the moment.
Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!
I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.
I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.
I feel like I was born and bred to stay self-motivated. I'm not one of those people who ho-hums and feels sorry for himself when something's bad.
If haters or whatever want to find you - I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them to work for you. They're very, very savvy in terms of how they find you and get to you.
If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny.
I like fearless characters, people just not afraid to do anything it takes to make people laugh.
My fam is just a regular family. But all of them have great senses of humor.
I grew up very self-loathing. I was a phobic. I had anxiety. I had panic attacks.
My mother had a lot of phobias. She's pregnant with me and she was a very phobic person. So I was born into phobia, basically.
I love being on stage if I'm not on a set. If I'm at home, I'm usually in my office editing or reconstructing my website or whatever it may be. I just love putting creativity into a performance, so if the right script comes along, and I certainly am reading comedies and dramas now, then I'm ready willing and able to give it a shot.
I'm focused on staying as healthy as I can so I can work more.
When I'm looking for hot button answers to tough questions, I don't look to congressman or my mayor. I say, 'What would Miss U.S.A. have to say about this?'
I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.
I have new ideas every day, and I always want to take on new challenges.
My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare.
You've gotta share what's going on in your mind.
I feel like the gods have certainly patted me on the head.
Anger has a way of seeping into every other emotion and planting itself in there.