Ultimately, jokes are this really special thing that we can all share. It's exciting to have basically a thousand people in a room together that can laugh at the same time, but I think of it almost as, like, a religious experience.
I don't let a lot of people know about my dad dying on 9/11. It's not a way to introduce yourself. So I never told anybody, and then I would do jokes about it... and I think people thought I was lying about it. Which would be crazy!
If you do something that is not gags and punchlines and is character-based, where there are no jokes as such, then it all has to come from a place of truth, and I love that - I love nothing more than getting very serious about my comedy.
Democrats are like a big tortoise that's on its back and can't get up; you can't make jokes about that.
I care more about making sure the story is correct and the characters are behaving in character than I do about the individual jokes.
I've seen Don Rickles up at the Montreal Comedy Festival. Don Rickles was doing jokes in a wheelchair, and he was headlining a show. Do you think they would let a woman do that?
I thought I could see how standup worked. I never thought of being an actor - or anything else, really - but I thought, 'I can see how you get on stage and tell jokes.'
When I watch movies with my kid like 'Shrek,' I'm like, 'Wow, this is pretty funny.' That's why I wanted to start doing movies like that - so my kid would laugh at my jokes.
I've liked being Jewish in America - there's a secular version of Jewishness there that's more about bagels and jokes than going to synagogues.
I seem to get into situations that make people laugh, but I don't consider myself that funny of a person. I'm not witty. I'm kind of slow in conversations. I'm not that articulate with jokes. The first time I made stuff and screened it for an audience, I was surprised what people were laughing at.
I like to make jokes; I consider myself a funny person. I just think making jokes about people who are in a situation beyond their control is not funny to them or their families.
Fat jokes aren't relevant, but they're hilarious when you find them.
In Bengal, Hindus are known to crack jokes at the expense of their gods and goddesses and that's what I did.
I like to create stuff. I like to express myself through jokes.
When I visited Chechnya, I was taken aback at first because people would regularly make jokes about kidnapping me.
I was already in my early twenties, but I looked much younger because I was fresh-faced and, well, short. So I did songs such as 'Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah' and jokes such as describing current events as 'ancient history.' Boy, did the audience roar at that one.
I wasn't always the most fashionable, and I would come to school with cauliflower ear and ringworm. I got made fun of a lot. People called me 'Miss Man' and 'Guns,' and people directed a lot of karate jokes at me. I wish that I was at school now that MMA and martial arts is cool, but back when I was in school, people associated it with nerdy stuff.
I have a problem with telling jokes about physics. Quite often the audience have no idea what you are talking about and, to be honest, I don't know what I'm talking about either.
I have five boys in the family, and it's constant competition, sport, humor, and practical jokes.
Jokes rot. They're not like songs. I always envy singers - Sting is always going to sing 'Roxanne'. But people want to hear new jokes. I've written jokes as good as 'Roxanne', I believe. But I can't tell them again.
I love my lecture tours. I get up onstage. I have my stack of books and a glass of water and a microphone. No podium, no distance between me and the audience, and I just talk to people and get all excited and tell a lot of jokes, and sing some songs, and read from my work and remind people how powerful they are and how beautiful they are.
When I was a kid, we got in a cipher and battled each other lyrically. We told jokes and made the hottest dance moves.
I listen to some Hank Williams before I go out. I tell some jokes. I have fun. I don't waste too much energy thinking about it - I like to save that all for the ring.
I could never sit down and write jokes.
Before, I didn't do celebrity stuff, 'cause Kathy Griffin did that, but now, if you're going to make jokes on Twitter, you have to stay current.
I don't perceive my role as a newsman at all. I'm a comedian from stem to stern. You can cut me open and count the rings of jokes.
I'm Irish, so I'm messing all the time. Which means, I'm having a laugh. I'm always making jokes.
My mom was like, 'Get your law degree first, become a lawyer, and then you can tell jokes on the weekends. You can be a lawyer and just throw jokes into your presentations.' Now she's like, 'Listen, you need to come up with new material.' All of a sudden, my mom's a critic.
I just write and do what I think is funny. Sometimes, you do have it in your head about certain bits. There are certain jokes where I know if I did them in certain situations, it would irk people. There are times where I look at the news and see a story going on, and I'm like, 'Wow, if I tweeted this, I would get press if I wanted to.'
I don't think of my songs as sad songs. I think of them as vulnerable and honest. I crack jokes in between songs, so people don't leave feeling too dark.
I try not to write jokes that are mean. I try my best to write jokes that are pretty universal and jokes that don't attack anyone. I know I often fall short of that and end up taking unfair swipes at people, but I try not to.
One of the marvelous things about Churchill is that whatever he was doing, whether fighting or arguing or despairing or bouncing about full of energy, jokes are never far away.
Some comics have long routines to get them in the mood - I just prefer to sit down, write out the same jokes in a different order and then have a little prayer that I won't be met by silence.
I never was shy, but as far as telling jokes, I'm the worst. I like physical comedy; it's where I feel comfortable.
Every day I do one or two podcasts that 92 percent of people never will hear. I'm constantly producing, constantly making jokes for Twitter. There's a lot of pressure there. On the flip side, I think having to produce like that makes you a better comedian.
I love raccoons. I had a raccoon figurine collection as a kid, and I now have two movies with 'Ranger Rick' jokes in them. I love 'em. They come in my back yard all the time, and we just stare at each other like a couple of idiots.
