I don't really know what is shocking. When you tell the story of a man who is beheaded, you have to show how they cut off his head. If you don't, it's like telling a dirty joke and leaving out the punch line.
I know what is funny coming out of my mouth and what is not funny coming out of my mouth. You have to figure out, What is the joke that I can do that nobody else can do?
Everyone's heard the same joke a million times and knows the setups. They are tired of the mass-marketed entertainment served on the networks.
If you recall, we have a huge list of celebrities who had announced they'd leave the country if Trump won. It probably seemed like a safe play for attention at the time, but now they've got egg on their faces, because, of course, none of them are actually leaving. Some of them have gone silent, while others, like Amy Schumer, say it was a joke.
The thing that's changed the way I do my stand-up act is having kids and getting older and wiser and smarter. There might be a joke or two in the past that I wish I hadn't done, but in the past, you can't have it back.
Gracious dying is a huge, macabre and expensive joke on the American public.
You're not going to see my sense of humor on the football field. That's not a place for me to joke around.
A joke's a very serious thing.
I joke that a person of color would never make a movie like 'Midnight in Paris.' Nostalgia isn't so enticing.
Back in the day, if someone said that hip hop and rap was a fad, that was a joke to me because they just didn't know what they were talking about. In reality, there were so many people who didn't know what they were talking about it.
I live on a ranch in Texas and do my own thing. And I don't care what anyone has to say about it. My joke is that the only people I'm trying to please are myself and my fans, because they're the ones buying my records. And I have the best, most loyal fan base ever.
I think when people mean that Discworld books have become darker they really mean the series is growing up. In 'The Colour of Magic' most of the city is set alight. It's a joke, in much the same way that the Earth is destroyed almost at the start of Douglas Adams's 'The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.'
My preference is for people who can do sketch comedy or situational comedy, where it's not a joke, but it's telling a story.
When you tell an Iowan a joke, you can see a kind of race going on between his brain and his expression.
I get just as much of a thrill out of constructing a good sentence that gets a laugh at the end as I do from a joke.
I've been writing joke songs since I was a kid and it served me well at S.N.L. I can write those in my sleep. In fact, I have.
But today, I feel the genuine warmth, the affection, and although I may joke about it, I am touched.
Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!
What I find shocking is that there's this thought process that Hillary Clinton is going to be president of the United States, and to even think of Donald Trump is a joke.
Because Buffy really has become the straight man, every once in a while it's nice to be the one that tells the joke and it's nice to be the one that is the joke and it's nice to do something that's a little bit different.
Poetry is like making a joke. If you get one word wrong at the end of a joke, you've lost the whole thing.
You could read Kant by yourself, if you wanted; but you must share a joke with some one else.
I think one of the funniest things about '30 Rock' is that Liz Lemon is sort of like Buster Keaton - she's always the fool, the joke is always on her.
Whenever I walk off the golf course, I thank God that I'm able to tell a joke. I thank God I'm good at something.
Behind every racist joke is a scientific fact.
People are learning to feel more comfortable hearing one another's dreams. It used to be that if you told a dream in public, someone had to make a joke to relieve the tension introduced by that alternative reality.
It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don't tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o'clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.
Comedy is such a vulnerable thing. With drama, you're not trying to make someone cry. If you do, great, but that's not your goal. With comedy, you're trying to make someone laugh, so to me, it's harder because you are in such a vulnerable position. You're like, 'I hope people like this. I hope I do the joke justice.'
As Asian-Americans, the charge that is often lobbed against us is sort of the least original: the idea that somehow we're perpetual foreigners, that we can't be trusted, and that even my father, who was patriotic to the point that it was kind of a joke among his children, would be accused of being disloyal to America.
If you write a novel where war is nothing but hell and no one experiences excitement or cracks a dark joke, then you're not actually admitting the full experience.
The moment you think of a joke is the best moment.
A poet in history is divine, but a poet in the next room is a joke.
Scandinavian-Danish cuisine was something quite rustic, mostly known for pastries and smorgasbord cuisine, which in itself has become a joke.
The element of surprise - where you think you know where a joke is going, and then you're wrong. Those are my favorite kind of jokes.
The girl-next-door image is a sort of joke; for years, I couldn't get any roles other than as somebody dark.
I used to do this big rant at the end of some gigs with Ben Folds Five. The band broke into this big heavy metal thing and I started as a joke to scream in a heavy metal falsetto. I found myself saying things like: Feel my pain, I am white, feel my pain.
