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I woke up one morning to an email from my friend Alex that said she'd had her bag stolen. Ordinarily, I'm quite quick on the uptake, but - maybe because of the way it was worded - I immediately replied, 'What??????' As soon as I hit send, I realised I was being scammed. But then they replied, and I thought, 'Well, why not?' James Veitch

If I ever woke up with a dead hooker in my hotel room, Matt would be the first person I'd call.

Ben Affleck

I was half asleep lying there writing this lyric in my head at about 3:30 in the morning. I woke Steve up with this idea and then we went into the living room where there was a little upright piano and finished the song. I wonder where that piano is now?

Jim Capaldi

I remember we woke up one morning at Denny's house and John Phillips called. He said, you guys okay? We said, yeah, what's wrong, what's going on? He said, well, everybody's dead over at Sharon's house at Terry Melcher's place.

Barry McGuire

So why are we having to fight in 2012 against politicians who want to end access to birth control? It's like we woke up in a bad episode of 'Mad Men.'

Cecile Richards

Now I know that that is just the phenomena of eating this way. Most all of my letters say I hit a plateau and then one morning I woke up and the melt had happened.

Suzanne Somers

I would have dreams all the time about me playing in the NFL. Every day I woke up, I said to myself, you know, I'm going to work hard, you know, this day to get to that next level.

Michael Oher

No matter how bad things are, you can at least be happy that you woke up this morning.

D. L. Hughley

I woke up this morning, and I still don't believe I won the Daytona 500.

Dale Earnhardt

Time made me change. I gradually woke up to the realization that this is who I am, an author, a public figure, and I couldn't just hide in my study, tapping away at the keyboard and pretend that I didn't have a role to play beyond stringing words together.

David Guterson

I woke up find a rather noisy multi-lingual meeting going on. This was great as everyone could participate and even though everything had to be translated into about four different languages it never became boring. After a while the meeting broke up and everyone went for food.

John Blair

One day I woke up with an atrocious hangover, and it hurt so badly that I told myself, 'It's time to stop. I can't do it anymore. It's not good. It hurts too much.'

Jordan Knight

I woke up nights, worrying that Lotus was out of control - that no one would know what to do.

Mitch Kapor

The name Air Supply sort of came from nowhere. I get a lot of my things in dreams and I just had a dream about it one night, and I woke up and said that's just got to be the name. That was in 1975.

Graham Russell

Universal coverage is a critical goal, but even if every man and woman, every parent and every child in America woke up with an insurance card in their hands, they would still need a place to go for health care.

Danny K. Davis

My advisers built a wall between myself and my people. I didn't realize what was happening. When I woke up, I had lost my people.

Mohammed Reza Pahlavi

Once I went to bed in Orlando and I woke up in Atlanta. I have no idea how that happened.

A. J. McLean

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'

Steven Wright

I'm a late riser by my family's standards. Sleeping is a luxury because since I was young, I woke up very early to go ice-skating. So I'm really not a morning girl.

Vera Wang

I was angry and frustrated until I started my own family and my first child was born. Until then I didn't really appreciate life the way I should have, but fortunately I woke up.

Johnny Depp

I was so obsessed by this problem that I was thinking about it all the time - when I woke up in the morning, when I went to sleep at night - and that went on for eight years.

Andrew Wiles

Towards the end of summer 2013, when school ended, I decided to re-download all of my social media channels and make videos again. The next day, I woke up and had 9,000 followers. I did the same thing the next day and woke up with 54,000 followers.

Nash Grier

I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.

Stan Laurel

Then suddenly something just kicked me. I kind of woke up and realised that I was in a different atmosphere than you normally are. My immediate reaction was to back off, slow down.

Ayrton Senna

One morning I woke up and was plunged into psychological shock. I had forgotten I was free.

Jack Henry Abbott

I really woke up one morning and said, you know, 'I haven't seen a good film about the American Revolution. And all the ones I have seen haven't been successful, but I'm going to make a successful one.' Well, I wasn't able to do that.

Irwin Winkler

My mom had not worked a day in her life, and then she woke up when I was 15 and found herself with four children, no job, no money. But she set out and made it all OK for us, and from that, I saw that there's no problem that can't be solved.

Ginni Rometty

The other day, I woke up, and somebody sent me a screenshot, and it was Sylvester Stallone, Rambo himself. Tweeting my song. 'Rambo.' And I went absolutely nuts in my hotel. Like, I was jumping on the bed screaming.

Bryson Tiller

I remember telling my second-graders the basic 'Metamorphosis' story, saying, like, 'What about - what if a guy woke up one morning and he was a bug? Wouldn't that be weird?' And they loved that. And I think that was the trigger that made me think, like, 'Oh man, here's my audience. They're just a lot shorter than I ever thought they might be.'

Jon Scieszka

My father actually moved out from Chicago just so he could play tennis 365 days a year, so it was - it was a place we played every day. We played before school. We played after school. We woke up. We played tennis. We brushed our teeth in that order.

Andre Agassi

Every man I knew went to bed with Gilda... and woke up with me.

Rita Hayworth

My dad took me out to see a meteor shower when I was a little kid, and it was scary for me because he woke me up in the middle of the night. My heart was beating; I didn't know what he wanted to do. He wouldn't tell me, and he put me in the car and we went off, and I saw all these people lying on blankets, looking up at the sky.

Steven Spielberg

It started when I woke up, all I wanted to do is jump out of the window. I didn't want to eat anymore, because I was afraid that I might poison myself somehow.

Jonathan Davis

It's not an act. I love it. It's totally original. People go, 'What's going on with this guy? Why does he sound so weird? What is going on in his brain. I don't know. Just one day I suddenly woke up with a new brain.

Charlie Sheen

I got divorced, which was not a good thing for a revivalist minister. It did not go down well. I'd already been banned from a couple churches for my jokes. So one day I woke up and decided it was time to start living for myself.

Sam Kinison

Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone.

Tommy Cooper

I woke up on the plane this morning and was turning on my phone and I had to put my pin number in. That's when I realized that since the age of 10 I've been using 2012 as my pin number. But now that I've won gold in the 2012 Olympics, I've achieved that goal and, for the first time in 14 years, I'll have to change my pin.

Cameron van der Burgh