First of all, as a man the most important thing you have in your life now is your child that you're carrying. That's it. Everything else comes second; personally, for me, other than your relationship with God and your wife.
It's disgusting, but my father taught me when your mouth gets dry, just suck the sweat out of your own jersey. There's no bravado to any of it; it's just a disgusting little trick.
They're not put on earth to be martyrs; they have to want to come out. It depends on your culture, where you work, where you live. Each person's circumstances are unique.
Let me ask you a question: If you never ate a balanced diet, what would happen to your body? You know the answer: Eventually you'd grow weak; you might even open yourself to serious illness or disease. We all need a balanced diet if we are to stay healthy.
Help others and give something back. I guarantee you will discover that while public service improves the lives and the world around you, its greatest reward is the enrichment and new meaning it will bring your own life.
If you're lucky, I think you know what you want to do with your life. I think that's a greater gift that any of the gifts you might have when you do know, if you know what I mean. It must be awful to not know what to do.
I've had to learn when not to tweet. Like, you learn how to keep your mouth shut? Learn to keep your tweet shut.
It's just a theory really, but I have always thought that your physical surroundings can shape your voice and personality.
If you're in part of rebel-controlled Syria, and suddenly your house blows up or a building next to you blows up, it would be convenient for rebels to say, 'It was the Americans.'
I think there are things that digital can't do as well as print thus far. Even an iPad is only 80% the size of a standard comics page, so the images are going to be smaller. You don't get your big, whopping two-page spreads.
I think being called a cat lady is a compliment. It means you have adopted a tiny little maniac into your life.
At the end of the day, you can't control the results; you can only control your effort level and your focus.
Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
To progress in life you must give up the things you do not like. Give up doing the things that you do not like to do. You must find the things that you do like. The things that are acceptable to your mind.
The thing that drives me crazy is when comics say 'I have low self-esteem.' No you don't. You're standing on stage asking people to pay. You don't play an instrument. You want people to pay to hear what's in your mind. You don't have low self-esteem. You might have other problems.
There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.
Living in your genome is the history of our species.
You cannot have the media so close to you that it becomes your voice. This is no good because it becomes too extreme, and people will resent it.
Some makeup companies have really good recycling policies, and it's worth finding out whether your favourites are among them. With MAC, for instance, you can take any of your old makeup containers into its shops, and the sweetest deal is that, once you've racked up six containers, you get a free lipstick or lip gloss.
When your buddy tells you a movie is good, that's worth 2,000 commercials.
I challenge you to make your life a masterpiece. I challenge you to join the ranks of those people who live what they teach, who walk their talk.
Why not pool your resources? And so we broke into the concept of the sacredness of private property.
You have no idea how humiliating it was, as a boy, to suddenly have all your clothes, your toys, snatched by the bailiff. I mean we were a middle-class family, it's not as if it was happening up and down the street. It made me ashamed, I felt dirty.
Do not make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans or they will treat you like dogs.
Since I was a child, I started to ask very difficult questions; even my family was telling me all the time, 'You're a very difficult person, and we were having trouble answering your questions. Why are you asking so many questions?'
We need to habituate better thinking to appreciate more of your day because that has a neurological correlate.
My practicality consists in this, in the knowledge that if you beat your head against the wall it is your head which breaks and not the wall - that is my strength, my only strength.
The most spiritual place you can be in your life is when you're being very real, when you're not allowing everybody and everything to influence your decisions and your moods, and what's morally right or ethically right.
If you don't fix latent failures in your system, you're asking for trouble.
When the amalgam is delivered to your dentist in a special protective box, he has to take extreme caution when handling the stuff: with masks, gloves, gowns, goggles, all needed to protect him from danger. He then drills your teeth and rams the mixture into your cavities, whereupon it becomes miraculously, instantly safe!
To the next generation, your war is here; you don't have to find it.
I miss my parents. But still, my granddaughter, my daughter, my grandma, you know, so it's very important for me. You lost your parents, but a new baby comes. It's like the cycle of fashion.
I spent four months in Prague in these blue rooms reacting to nothing and you basically place your faith in the hands of the director and the special effects co-coordinator and you keep your fingers crossed and hope that the creatures look really scary.
For me, fielding is everything - it is a passion that comes from within. You can get a bad ball while you bat, and your bowling may not always be up there, but you are completely in control of how well you field.
I don't eat two days a week. And people are fascinated by it, but it works. If you cut two days of food out of your life you will lose weight.
When you are dealing with a child, keep all your wits about you, and sit on the floor.
