Zitat des Tages von Colin Quinn:
I was a class clown.
He is very dry but also very funny... I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be.
The thing that drives me crazy is when comics say 'I have low self-esteem.' No you don't. You're standing on stage asking people to pay. You don't play an instrument. You want people to pay to hear what's in your mind. You don't have low self-esteem. You might have other problems.
Stand-up is live, so I'm used to being live for most of my career. It's interesting.
I write all the time - I write poetry, I love to write.
I think Helen of Troy must have been pretty hot. She got two countries going crazy for 10 years over her.
I'm quietly becoming New York's premiere actor. People don't understand. They have me pigeon-holed as a comedian.
I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can't even imagine them.
Those early days of comedy are when you get addicted to it.
So instead of talking about theoretical ways of ending the war and violence, I say that we have to get rid of the individual asholes in each office and situation.
The mistake that people make in stand-up is thinking they're profound or they're deep when there are so many people who have more worthwhile ways of phrasing things.
I've been to Japan, I've been to China, I've been to Africa, I've been to the Middle East, I've been to Europe a little bit. I've never been to South America.
I always wanted to write as much as perform.
Everybody's got a different sense of humor. It's just different styles.
I like guy stuff.
I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be.
My name has zero value.
You can't make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.
The only people who like to live alone more than comics are priests.
You can't make money on Broadway. You make nothing. You maybe make like $1,350 a week after you pay out all the producers.
When I look back now I realize I was such an obnoxious kid but, you know, I went to schools like you, like a public school in New York so compared to the anarchy that was going on there, they really wouldn't - I wasn't like a bad kid. I saw people come in and punch the teachers.
The ancient Greeks were the first ones to say an unexamined life is not worth living. They don't tell you of course what we found out, an examined life not that fascinating either.
I'm always working on stuff. But they never materialize. I'm always working on movies and TV shows.
I love people, I love studying people more than history. So whatever situation I see, then I look at, what were the people like, more than history itself.
I'm just another guy who thinks he's smarter than he is, in a long line of them.
I think everyone should own six guns, even though I don't own any.
Everybody's funny in different ways.
I think if you try to tailor your act to anybody, you end up with an act that doesn't work anyway.
I feel most empires fell when they started to act human, but then look at Russia. They kept a pretty strong hand, and they fell from Afghanistan alone because Afghanistan is the graveyard of empires. I guess you just can't sustain it.
Everybody says before reviews come out, 'Oh, reviews don't matter,' just in case they're bad; everyone want to brace themselves.
Marie Antoinette was funny, I'm sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the 'Let them eat cake' line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type.
You know how it is with writing. You just write what you want to write. There's no way to predict what is good or bad. You just do what you think is funny, and either it works or you're finished. It's impossible to predict anything.
People's - most people's job is talking about the future or like money not even in the present tense. It's not even paper.
My stand-up act? I combine the fact that the world is a violent place with the fact that each person is responsible for the situation they are in.
With comedians, you have that understanding that we're trying to get laughs.
You know, the funny thing about Lorne and that show is that, you can go over one million things, but in a business of bean counters, he still likes to laugh at small things and creates a show around it.