I like 'The Nightly Show.' People ask me what it is, and I say, 'If you're watching 'The Daily Show,' and it feels like it's getting a little darker, you're probably watching 'The Nightly Show.''
Why are ecologists and environmentalists so feared and hated? This is because in part what they have to say is new to the general public, and the new is always alarming.
A lot of comics fly by the seat of their pants, and they pride themselves on being witty, quick, and off-the-cuff. That's not my show. I wrote a show, and I want to do the show I wrote. I'm not interested in what the audience has to say.
They will say you are on the wrong road, if it is your own.
I can remember the frustration of not being able to talk. I knew what I wanted to say, but I could not get the words out, so I would just scream.
They say the death of a parent puts you in time because that means there's now no generation standing between you and ordinary death: you're next. I don't buy it.
I will say we now, in the polling in Wisconsin, much different than many other races, the public didn't perceive that we were getting a fair shake from the media.
See, what we were going to do was say, the Internet is this great business strategy tool.
If you have nothing to say for yourself then kindly keep your mouth shut!
My doctors say I am very healthy.
It doesn't sound too good to say I am the son of a landowner, so let us rather say I am the grandson of exploited Galician peasants.
What old people say you cannot do, you try and find that you can. Old deeds for old people, and new deeds for new.
The more people say nice things about me, the more I feel it's false.
It's pretty simple to me: we come from a really grounded world where anything you say could be the thing that the scene becomes about. We're always treating it as if we would treat it in real life. It's all observation.
I don't want to stand in front of a whole lot of fakeys. If I'm going to meet someone and say hello, I want to feel like I'm really meeting that person, not a masked version. I want to give that to people when they meet me. You don't have to like it. I'm not looking for you to like it; I'm looking to be myself.
In my family, we let our boys have a say in what veggie side they want for dinner that night. We list off a handful of options and get them excited about helping to plan the dinner menu. They're much more inclined to finish their plates when they've helped decide what goes on them.
Men say they love independence in a woman, but they don't waste a second demolishing it brick by brick.
Feminists say no-fault divorce was a large hurdle on the path to female liberation. They apparently don't consult the deepest hopes or greatest fears of young women.
Songs say what our emotions can't. I love that about music.
Comparing oneself with one's fellow writers is a bad idea. I would not review a fellow writer unless I had something terribly positive to say.
I would not say I'm an aggressive shopper. I want to be; I aspire to be an aggressive shopper. I am a meek, meek shopper.
How many times have we seen reality celebrities fall from grace - often through no fault of their own - and then go on a show like 'Celebrity Big Brother' and say, 'I want to show the public a different side of me.' And I'm screaming at the telly going, 'This is not therapy. This is voyeurism!'
You can construct the character of a man and his age not only from what he does and says, but from what he fails to say and do.
I just believe in collaboration. I mean, I've written songs on my own, you know, but I think if the artist has something to bring to the table - someone like Pink, for instance - where they have something to say, it makes your job easier and more special.
I had so many freckles that my mother used to say that they were kisses from the angels. I still have them.
As a longtime practitioner of yoga and a person who's been involved in physical fitness my whole life, I can tell you, yoga helps you achieve altered states of consciousness. It is not just stretching. The only way you can say that it's stretching is if you haven't done it, or that you haven't done it rigorously for a long period of time.
When you're with your wife, you don't say I love you to your wife every day but the ways you look at her and your actions are another way to communicate. Don't focus on dialogue, only focus on what you're expressing.
I don't care what people say about my relationship; I don't care what they say about my boobs. People are buying my songs; I have a sold-out tour. I'm getting incredible feedback from my music.
Some women can't say the word lesbian... even when their mouth is full of one.
But you say, does it represent change? The change is that we are fighting an insurance industry that has killed health reform for generations. They're spending tens of millions of dollars right now to defeat this bill, and we're on the doorstep of winning a great victory for the American people.
I grew up with a mother who, every time she saw something, would say, I'm going to look that up. And I've become that person - I've become the reference-book person.
A man can be 43, and people will say, 'Oh, he's a cool bachelor, and he just hasn't settled down,' but with a woman, it's, 'Oh, she must have really wanted to get married, but she didn't.' I honestly think that attitude is a little bit sexist.
I love when fans recognize me. Most of the time they don't have the guts to come up, so I'm like, 'Come here, say hi! I don't bite!'
I would say the next imminent hot writers are often the writers from the decade before you were born.
They say that I'm stubborn, and my wife says that, too, but it's paid off so far.
The problem as you get older is, from my perspective, after a certain amount of songs, you tend to start writing something and then you stop and say, 'Wait, I think I've written that before.'
