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The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons.
One truth I've learned as a father: Children want presence more than presents. They don't want to read about you; they want you.
If we're really honest with ourselves, most of us will admit that we want to impress people, and this is what's causing us to do what we do.
I'm really more prolific than most stand-ups. My act changes. I do fold in new experiences, new observations, whatever you want to call it.
Dealing with political things, it's not for me. It makes me crazy. I want to buy, you want to sell. Please make it simple.
The politician in my country seeks votes, affection and respect, in that order. With few notable exceptions, they are simply men who want to be loved.
You put deadlines on people you really don't want, because that's how you feel about them.
When Seymour saw me seated at the piano at that first rehearsal, he shouted: 'What's that kid doing here? Call your piano player and let's get started.'
My parents put skates on me at age 2, the way it should be if you're serious, and I've always liked it.
