Paula Poundstone Zitate auf Englisch

Zitat des Tages von Paula Poundstone:

I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family.

I have jokes I've told before and will tell again, but my favorite part of the night is talking to the crowd.

Paula Poundstone

I'm really more prolific than most stand-ups. My act changes. I do fold in new experiences, new observations, whatever you want to call it.

Paula Poundstone

I was born in Alabama, but I only lived there for a month before I'd done everything there was to do.

Paula Poundstone

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

Paula Poundstone

When I sat down to write I just felt like a geek writing about myself. And then it dawned on me, just because of the way I am, I can't stop talking, and part of the problem is that anything that gets said reminds me of something that happened to me one time, and invariably I cut people off and talk about myself.

Paula Poundstone

I was diagnosed a number of years ago with obsessive-compulsive disorder - which everyone has, to some degree - and I have this really annoying trait where in conversation, I always steer it back to something that happened to me.

Paula Poundstone

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

Paula Poundstone

My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'

Paula Poundstone

Once I was gone for a month and I was just miserable, so I flew back from Florida for two hours just to be home and see my cats.

Paula Poundstone

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.

Paula Poundstone

There are really only so many foods and so many ways you can prepare them.

Paula Poundstone

I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family.

Paula Poundstone

President Obama could keep a big map with push pins on it to keep track of how many countries hate us, and when we get down to only half, let's have a ball. I'll blow up the balloons myself.

Paula Poundstone

I only do two things in my life, and that's take care of my kids and work. Fortunately, these are my favorite things to do, so it works out.

Paula Poundstone

Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas.

Paula Poundstone

I love key lime pie, although it's never made the proper way.

Paula Poundstone