David Sedaris Zitate – Sprüche auf Englisch mit Übersetzung

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I meet people at book signings. My record now, for signing, is ten and a half hours in one sitting.

People ask if I miss it, but they don't understand that American culture is so ubiquitous that there's nothing to miss. I don't see myself moving back. It's not that I hate the United States. I just always thought it would be a shame not to live in a foreign country.

David Sedaris

If you read somebody's diary, you get what you deserve.

David Sedaris

I don't think my life is more interesting than anybody else's.

David Sedaris

I don't have email.

David Sedaris

I go to the movies at least five times a week, and after a while everything becomes a blur to me.

David Sedaris

As a foreigner in London, I like that there are so many other foreigners.

David Sedaris

But most good movies have a gun in them.

David Sedaris

I like to reserve the right to write about whatever I like.

David Sedaris

My sister Tiffany told me years ago, 'You can never write about me.' Then she called six months ago and said she wanted to be in a story. She was worried people thought I didn't like her.

David Sedaris

But I don't distinguish between being laughed with, and laughed at. I'll take either.

David Sedaris

It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice time, then two years later you'll be like, 'There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?'

David Sedaris

The only real advice you can give anyone is to keep writing.

David Sedaris

There are lots of things that happen to me that I don't write about.

David Sedaris

I don't like being left to my own thoughts.

David Sedaris

I've never gone on Facebook and am not sure I understand it. The same goes for Twitter. I have someone sending tweets and pretending to be me, but I don't know why.

David Sedaris

I've been keeping diaries for 27 years.

David Sedaris

I love 'Glee.'

David Sedaris

The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons.

David Sedaris

I started writing one afternoon when I was twenty, and ever since then I have written every day. At first I had to force myself. Then it became part of my identity, and I did it without thinking.

David Sedaris

I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer.

David Sedaris

I love 'Glee.' I cry all the time when I watch 'Glee' because I don't know if it's satire or melodrama and that makes me feel like the writing is aware of itself, and that makes it okay to cry.

David Sedaris

When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard.

David Sedaris

I always think it's a good policy to like the people who like you.

David Sedaris

I like books on tape, and will listen to just about anything.

David Sedaris

Sometimes I say to myself, 'Oh, I wish I could win a Tony Award', although I'm not that bothered.

David Sedaris

They were nothing like the French people I had imagined. If anything, they were too kind, too generous and too knowledgable in the fields of plumbing and electricity.

David Sedaris

After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations.

David Sedaris

I love getting attention, just like a child loves it, and it's never worn off. So when people say, oh the book signings go on, why would I shoo away someone who's giving me attention? What part of standing in line for 10 hours to say how much they love you is bad to you?

David Sedaris

I felt uncomfortable calling myself a writer until I started with 'The New Yorker,' and then I was like, 'Okay, now you can call yourself that.'

David Sedaris

I meet people at book signings. My record now, for signing, is ten and a half hours in one sitting.

David Sedaris

What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny.

David Sedaris

I went from having 50 listeners to 50 million listeners.

David Sedaris

I tend to show everything I do to my family, to check they won't be offended.

David Sedaris

If I'm riding my bike I just replay the same scenarios over and over in my head, like I haven't had a new mental adventure since high school. So that's what I like about books on tape, so my mind can't wander anywhere.

David Sedaris

I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.

David Sedaris

Because I've always been a fairly nervous person.

David Sedaris