Jerry Seinfeld Zitate auf Englisch

Zitat des Tages von Jerry Seinfeld:

I do probably 60 concerts a year in the States. And I go out to clubs in the week. I'm doing new stuff all the time.

A lot of stuff I do out of pure obsessiveness.

Jerry Seinfeld

A lot of times, you could play me just the laughs from my set, and I could tell you, from the laugh, what the joke was. Because they match.

Jerry Seinfeld

Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.

Jerry Seinfeld

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.

Jerry Seinfeld

I do a little thing about the way people shake the sweetener packet. You know, like they're all excited. I want to get all the granules down to one end. I love all these rituals.

Jerry Seinfeld

I can walk through a hotel lobby and watch people at the desk and see what they're doing. People don't look at me. They don't even know I'm there.

Jerry Seinfeld

I've done a number of Super Bowl ads. And that is the best advertising of the year. That is when people realize they're going to be compared directly against other ads.

Jerry Seinfeld

To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving.

Jerry Seinfeld

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

Jerry Seinfeld

Crankiness is at the essence of all comedy. My wife and I were discussing the different types of cranky. There's entertaining cranky, annoying cranky, angry cranky.

Jerry Seinfeld

You want to do good things, and once you've done a couple of good things in a row, you think 'Well gee, let's not mess this up.' But I am lucky at this point that I have something I really love to do, and it completely holds my attention. I never feel frustrated by it.

Jerry Seinfeld

As a comedian, I found this thing, this profession, that suits my mind and life force. To drop it to do something else? I just don't get that.

Jerry Seinfeld

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

Jerry Seinfeld

I don't need you to be funny. I don't want to be entertained.

Jerry Seinfeld

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, 'I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.'

Jerry Seinfeld

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Jerry Seinfeld

When you make a TV show, they always say you're a guest in someone's home. Online, you're a guest in someone's face. So that's why I try to make it sound and look and feel very inviting and attractive, because I know that I'm in your face.

Jerry Seinfeld

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.

Jerry Seinfeld

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.

Jerry Seinfeld

To a guy like me, a laugh is full of information.

Jerry Seinfeld

Stand-up is hard. Or to keep it at a certain level is hard: I have no writers but me.

Jerry Seinfeld

I kind of thought that stand-up comedy would suffer from the Internet because people seem to know more about the craft of stand-up than ever before. I thought it would seem trite. Kind of like if you know more about magicians, you wouldn't love them.

Jerry Seinfeld

Forty is when you actually begin even deserving to be on stage telling people what you think.

Jerry Seinfeld

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.

Jerry Seinfeld

Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.

Jerry Seinfeld

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

Jerry Seinfeld

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.

Jerry Seinfeld

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.

Jerry Seinfeld

I don't want to hear the specials. If they're so special, put 'em on the menu.

Jerry Seinfeld

The Internet offers opportunities that are more unique than ever before. With TV, I know I'm making 22 minutes; I know there's a commercial in the middle. With the Internet, no one knows anything. No rules.

Jerry Seinfeld

Being a stand-up is my mission in life; it's my passion. My ongoing goal is to simply be funny, on my own, in front of a roomful of strangers.

Jerry Seinfeld

I wrote an article on a new Porsche for 'Automobile Magazine.' I knew the editor, and she asked me to write this article. So I'm more proud of that than anything.

Jerry Seinfeld

I do probably 60 concerts a year in the States. And I go out to clubs in the week. I'm doing new stuff all the time.

Jerry Seinfeld

If you're a surfer, you just want to surf. You don't know if anyone's going to see you, and you don't really care if they see you. You just live for that feeling.

Jerry Seinfeld

I think of myself more as a sportsman than I do an artist.

Jerry Seinfeld

A lot of advertising has gotten worse. I think it's kind of lost its nerve, to be honest with you. I feel like the advertising of the '60s, they were nervier. You know why? Because there was less at stake.

Jerry Seinfeld