Jeff Foxworthy Zitate auf Englisch

Zitat des Tages von Jeff Foxworthy:

There's no down time any more.

The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.

Jeff Foxworthy

It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.

Jeff Foxworthy

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

Jeff Foxworthy

Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?

Jeff Foxworthy

When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.

Jeff Foxworthy

I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.

Jeff Foxworthy

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?

Jeff Foxworthy

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

Jeff Foxworthy

I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together.

Jeff Foxworthy

What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.

Jeff Foxworthy

If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.

Jeff Foxworthy

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

Jeff Foxworthy

Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip.

Jeff Foxworthy

We're all screwed up. And the way Christians mess things up is we act like we've got it going on. And if we would just stay in that place of, 'Hey, we're all screwed up and but for the grace of God, none of us have a shot here.' We need to have a sense of humor about it; that's kind of the way I've always faced my comedy.

Jeff Foxworthy

People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.

Jeff Foxworthy

The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.

Jeff Foxworthy

My grandma's the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and she's doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot!

Jeff Foxworthy

Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.

Jeff Foxworthy

My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.

Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.

Jeff Foxworthy

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

Jeff Foxworthy

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.

Jeff Foxworthy

Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.

Jeff Foxworthy

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

Jeff Foxworthy

For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.

Jeff Foxworthy

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'

Jeff Foxworthy

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

Jeff Foxworthy

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

Jeff Foxworthy

When I first started out, being from the South and going to New York or Chicago, people kept telling me to get voice lessons and 'lose that stupid accent you got.' And I'm like, 'Well, where I come from, you have the stupid accent.'

Jeff Foxworthy

It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.

Jeff Foxworthy

There's no down time any more.

Jeff Foxworthy

Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.

Jeff Foxworthy

I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.

Jeff Foxworthy

I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

Jeff Foxworthy

You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

Jeff Foxworthy

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.

Jeff Foxworthy