Dave Barry Zitate auf Englisch

Zitat des Tages von Dave Barry:

The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.

In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid.

Dave Barry

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

Dave Barry

The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.

Dave Barry

In 1765, Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which, as any American high school student can tell you, was an act that apparently had something to do with stamps.

Dave Barry

Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.

Dave Barry

The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.

Dave Barry

Eugene is located in western Oregon, approximately 278 billion miles from anything.

Dave Barry

I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care.

Dave Barry

We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admit that we know of no better system, except possibly flipping a coin.

Dave Barry

The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.

Dave Barry

There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary.

Dave Barry

It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money.

Dave Barry

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

Dave Barry

Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.

Dave Barry

The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

Dave Barry

The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter.

Dave Barry

We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.

Dave Barry

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.

Dave Barry

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.

Dave Barry

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.

Dave Barry

If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.

Dave Barry

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

Dave Barry

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

Dave Barry

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

Dave Barry

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Dave Barry

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.

Dave Barry

If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.

Dave Barry

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

Dave Barry

Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough.

Dave Barry

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.

Dave Barry

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Dave Barry

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

Dave Barry

We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires.

Dave Barry

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.

Dave Barry

Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is reading my column.

Dave Barry

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.

Dave Barry