Chelsea Handler Zitate – Sprüche auf Englisch mit Übersetzung

Zitat des Tages von Chelsea Handler:

I do think about marriage, but it's not the end-all goal.

I cannot be Mary Hart - or even worse, Samantha Harris - and stand there with my hip out talking about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes taking Suri to an art museum without making fun of it.

Chelsea Handler

I want to educate people and deliver news that isn't just surrounded by Charlie Sheen. I'd like to be able to do the serious stuff in conjunction with the comedy.

Chelsea Handler

I don't like speaking publicly when I don't have to be funny.

Chelsea Handler

Seeing your parents fall apart is really rough. I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

Chelsea Handler

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are ridiculous-looking - especially her. They're so strange and charismatic and weird. It's pretty hard to take your eyes off them.

Chelsea Handler

I'm really into the human interest thing. I really like regular people.

Chelsea Handler

The challenge is to keep it fresh. If you're talking about Britney Spears over and over, it's very hard to keep that interesting.

Chelsea Handler

Some people think Hollywood is shallow. I find that it's home.

Chelsea Handler

I think if you're gonna do something as silly and lighthearted as entertainment, then why not be interesting when you're doing it?

Chelsea Handler

It takes me a while to get my appetite going when I wake up early.

Chelsea Handler

I once waited on a group of 10 people, and one guy collected the money from the check and tipped me $20 on $600. I told him in front of everyone, 'Jews like you give Jews like me a bad name.' That was my last waitressing job.

Chelsea Handler

Every time I had a book come out, I'm like, 'Is it going to be number one?'

Chelsea Handler

In a relationship, the sum of your parts should equal more than just you by yourself. He needs to bring something new and different to the table to up the ante.

Chelsea Handler

I've always been exactly who I am on TV. I'm not playing a role.

Chelsea Handler

You look at, like, a 'People' magazine, which used to be a really good, you know, nice magazine you could go to for real stories. It wasn't like a 'Star' or an 'US Weekly' and they have somebody with plastic surgery on the cover, Heidi Montag. And it's obviously what consumers want, because why else would they be doing it?

Chelsea Handler

There are times I felt insecure or not sure: I'm unsure of myself, or I get nervous, but nerves are good. I try and embrace all those things. I try and embrace the times where I'm not sure of myself or I'm like, 'Is this going to work? Is this going to land?'

Chelsea Handler

When you interview celebrities, they're so guarded so many times, they can't reveal anything.

Chelsea Handler

You either become like your parents or you become the opposite of your parents. And I like to think that I'm the opposite of my parents.

Chelsea Handler

Jennifer Aniston is one of the most down-to-earth, low-key people I know.

Chelsea Handler

I think comedy has to come from your authentic point of view.

Chelsea Handler

I definitely don't want to have kids. I don't think I'd be a great mother. I don't want to have a kid and have it raised by a nanny. I don't have the time to raise a child.

Chelsea Handler

Everything isn't permanent, so don't pretend that it is. Everything's supposed to move and shift.

Chelsea Handler

I never considered myself a supermodel or anything like that. I mean, I don't think I'm ugly. I have good days and bad days, and I like when I'm fit and lean and all of those things that any woman likes, but it's not the eye of the hurricane for me.

Chelsea Handler

E! has just become a sad, sad place to live. They don't know what they're doing; they have no ideas... everything they do just is a failure.

Chelsea Handler

It's a pleasure to play my sister because everything I've accused her of my whole life, I can now re-enact before her eyes.

Chelsea Handler

I started my own business because my parents had no dowry for me, and I was worried. I ran it from their Martha Vineyard's summer house. I baby-sat for a 14-year-old boy all summer and was giving him time-outs, even though I was two years younger than him.

Chelsea Handler

I'm into politics, and I love watching the heavier news magazine shows.

Chelsea Handler

If you're really looking to hurt somebody's feelings, just break up with them.

Chelsea Handler

I have severe ADD, and I'm constantly looking to amuse myself.

Chelsea Handler

I think you do need two terms as a president.

Chelsea Handler

Every time I enter a country and have to write down my occupation at customs, I'm like, 'I don't know... Author? Host? Writer? Stand-up?' I usually write 'author' - that's the safest bet.

Chelsea Handler

I like to have a home for people just to have a lot of fun.

Chelsea Handler

Have you ever been sued by a midget? It's not fun.

Chelsea Handler

I'm not friends with any of my exes, and I've never understood the appeal.

Chelsea Handler

Once I turned 40, my whole life changed in the most mature - not boring way but much cooler way. I feel much more like an adult.

Chelsea Handler

I try to make fun of everyone as often as possible, especially minorities.

Chelsea Handler