Zitat des Tages von Andy Kindler:
I would like Albert Brooks to have received the Oscars for best actor, best director and best screenplay for 'Modern Romance.' I love that movie.
I did not sell Amway, but I sold Shaklee, which was an Amway-type product sold through multi-level marketing.
The cliche that comics always use is that whatever is happening in the news is 'the gift that keeps on giving.' I always thought that was a bunch of nonsense.
If I love a comic but they have an off night, who am I to say they should have taken out this or added that? It doesn't work that way... I have no interest in hurting people's feelings.
I'm tired of demographic appeal being more important than talent. I want to fight against that.
I am the smartest comedian in the history of the world.
You tell me that 'Date Night' was good? I'm not going to see it. I will debate you on it, having no knowledge of the footage in the film. I was next to someone on the plane watching it, and they were dozing off.
There are so many people who just want a flashy object in front of their eyes and don't want to think at all; I find that disturbing.
I'm not a confrontational person in real life, so I really don't wanna get into arguments or fistfights with people I'm making fun of.
I sold door to door for a couple years. As the years recede from the event, I remember less about it, which is probably good for my mind. It was home improvement in Cerritos California, Buena Park, that area.
When did I start comedy? I came out of the womb and did 10 minutes.
You can't go wrong with pizza, unless it's terrible pizza.
I've always felt that there's a Catskills comic who lives in my head and is constantly trying to get out. There's all these jokes that have been passed down from Jewish generation to Jewish generation, which I love but which I've always made fun of.
My manager came up with the name 'State of the Industry,' and it was just one of those things. It just took off. Well, I don't know about 'took off.' I'm not in the stratosphere.
My goal isn't to wake up in the morning and hurt people's feelings.
'The Graduate' should have won best picture over 'In the Heat of the Night.'
I always had a tremendous amount of rage about the business, and I thought turning that into comedy was healthy.
I can open up any can of worms and get people upset.
I don't know what Tracy Morgan does onstage, but I can assure you, it's no act.
The Comedy Bar is an intimate club, which I prefer. I refuse to play theatres, because large empty spaces make me nervous, and I don't enjoy the echo. I'm no sell out. Literally.
My goal is to be exactly how I am offstage - although I realize I'm supposed to punctuate it with jokes.
I have to say, after hanging out with Republicans for four days, I want to take a look at my own birth certificate. I don't think I was born in this country.
Most of the people in my family were pretty funny. Everyone had a good sense of humor. I came to California right after college, wanting to be a musician.
The right wing is appealing to a shrinking, shrinking demographic of angry white people who blame their predicament in life on the fact that there are immigrants coming into the country; it's pretty ludicrous.
I don't enjoy writing newspaper articles any more than people like reading them. I'm a standup comic, not a journalist, although sometimes onstage I will say: 'What else is in the news?' Writing is work, which I'm not comfortable with.
If everything was good, maybe I wouldn't have a career. I wouldn't have anything to make fun of.
Sometimes things can be a guilty pleasure, but with 'Idol,' everyone talks about it like it's a real thing; they argue over who's gonna win... There's no laughing at it.
When I played a club in Salt Lake City, I complained to the crowd about the low turnout. It's always good to berate the people who paid to see you because you're upset about the people who didn't show up. It's called misplaced anger, and without it, I wouldn't have an act.
Louie is hugely talented. But I get very annoyed at the way the media... say, 'Louis C.K. is the greatest stand-up in the world.' He's not the greatest stand-up in the world. He's not funnier than Dave Attell.
I even get tired performing standup, which is normally a low-impact exercise in futility but looks hard the way I do it. That's why I take a lot of breaks, often stopping in the middle of a joke to catch my breath, or blame the crowd for not laughing before the punchline.
From 1987 to 1992, I was on the road for 40 weeks a year playing comedy clubs, and that was during the 'comedy boom.'
I'm on a mission. If I can make even one person not enjoy something they're currently enjoying, it's all worth it!
I think that most people will spend their whole life not figuring out what they're meant to do, or figuring out what they're meant to do on their way to do something else. So I just feel lucky that I know what I love to do. Everything else figures itself out.
I try to go out for everything. I go out for any acting stuff that comes up, and voice-over stuff.
Jimmy Fallon is handsome. This is an indisputable fact.
I do notice a lot of people who want to shock to get laughs. It's such a tricky thing; you don't want to make rules about it. There's nobody more hilarious than Dave Attell, and he'd break every rule you set up. But he's funny.
