Zitat des Tages von Ambrose Bierce:
Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.
Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.
Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.
Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
I believe we shall come to care about people less and less. The more people one knows the easier it becomes to replace them. It's one of the curses of London.
Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
Confidante: One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors.
The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
Doubt begins only at the last frontiers of what is possible.
Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.
There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.