Being a mom makes you far more compassionate. You have more empathy for people, more love. I was always taught to say thank you, and I'm very grateful. And my kids have that quality, too.
My parents were decent, aspirant first-generation middle class. They read 'Reader's Digest', listened to classical music; my grandparents had a bust of Stalin on the mantelpiece. The kids of that generation were terrified of being below par, class-wise.
I'm pretty intentional about being highly invested in my kids' lives.
Step-parenting and being a step-sibling presents a lot of exciting opportunities. When families break up and re-form, there may be less order, less certainty, and a bit more trauma involved, but kids can end up having half-a-dozen parent figures.
But we're born as children and we look at the world with open eyes... And we don't judge and we don't betray. We're not jealous. We're not envious. We're not even weary, which is a danger also as kids. They have to learn a certain amount of awareness.
Kids tend to look up to sports figures and entertainers, probably more than they should, but I've tried to use that in a positive way.
I think day care is terrific. Kids get to be around other kids, and they're playing, and they're teaching each other. When I was in college, my summer job was being a preschool teacher. I loved it, and after that experience, I said I can't wait to put my kid in day care because I could see how much they loved it.
Growing up, there are always those kids who are only happy when they are making someone else upset. That is unfortunately just how some people are. And their parents were fine. Some people are just born with bad wiring.
I've learned something about kids - they don't do what you say; they do what you do.
I think some of the funniest and most artistic people I know are the ones who had a hard time at school. They often have humility and artistry. So, as much as I feel bad for kids who have to go through a rough childhood, I believe that if they can turn it around, it's going to make them better people later on.
I will be there for my kids.
I'm a big believer in letting kids have as much responsibility as you can give them in terms of helping around the house and getting themselves dressed.
The truth is that stress doesn't come from your boss, your kids, your spouse, traffic jams, health challenges, or other circumstances. It comes from your thoughts about these circumstances.
I don't claim to be a particularly good father. I'm flawed, let's say. I've certainly been affected by the experience of having kids... trying to be a father, at least. It's an amazing process. It's like songwriting: it's a complete mystery to me. I don't understand it - but I've certainly written about it.
I speak about family and adoption because it 100% changed my life and who I am. It definitely played a very large role into just learning how to be grateful for what you have and being fulfilled in a way that a lot of adopted kids don't feel.
Kids need parents who love and support them unconditionally, full stop.
I love that I can work from home and take my kids to school every day.
I find often I'm wandering around the park with my kids, and I notice something, and I think, 'Oh, I could come up with a clever Facebook post about that.' It's like, 'Wait a minute - that's not what I should be thinking. I should be present in the moment with my kids.'
Schools insist that everything is under their purview - what your kids eat, what they believe, what they say on the playground.
Kids nowadays, I remember when I was in school, they were just rude, even to the teachers and stuff.
Regressing back to an infant state is nothing to be proud of. Rich Americans don't drive themselves, don't cook, don't do their own nails/hair/make-up, don't shop, and I suppose all they've got in common with rich British people is that they don't raise their own kids, either.
When you start the game, coaches will tell you to do stuff in a particular way, and kids do that. But the moment you start first-class cricket, the coach needs to tell you, 'Try this, try that,' instead of, 'Do this, do that.' If you feel comfortable, you can take it; otherwise, leave it.
Other people might have family - three kids or five houses. In my case, that doesn't exist. I'm going to give everything away. Everything has been transferred to charitable trusts. There is no question about that. The question is where, not if.
I work a lot in the summers. My family goes to Maine, where we have a little house. My wife's a writer, too, and we can write for six hours a day and then play with the kids.
Popular kids don't necessarily know who they are because they're so busy trying to conform. It's the outcasts who are more attuned to who they are. They're more self-aware, more real.
I think I used comedy as a mechanism: if I could make the other kids laugh, I wouldn't get beaten up or teased as much.
I always feel like I want more time with my kids. But I reject the notion that you can't have it all. I think you can: just not necessarily in abundance.
I was a crazy little seven-year-old. I used to get up an hour early to watch the big kids train. I thought, 'I must absorb their awesomeness.' That was my goal from when I was seven. I told my coach, 'I'm going to the Olympics.'
None of my kids want to be actors. They are actually very interested in being musicians. I think they like the process of film from the outside. Mad is interested in editing. Pax loves music and deejaying.
I was always in a big hurry to do everything. Before I was 20, I was married twice and had two kids. But I don't regret any of it. I learned a lot about myself. I had a lot to say for someone my age, real early on.
Stay in college, kids. Otherwise, you may become an umpire.
Writing with kids is an adventure. It seems like someone always has the flu or pink-eye. I mean, you don't even have to be in direct contact with anyone to get pink-eye. But for parents who write, flexibility becomes essential, and as long as I have a pad of paper and a pen, I can write anywhere. Starbucks is fine.
I want kids to believe that I was just like they were, and to believe that they, too, can aspire to great things.
It's our job - as parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles - to find books our kids are going to like.
To kids, I've always been more than just some big tough black guy. I train to be tough - I box and do karate - but underneath all that toughness is a tender man.
It's very important that we instill some respect for the parents. In America especially, the kids are unruly, screaming at Mommy and Daddy, running the show.
