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How many millionaires do you know who have become wealthy by investing in savings accounts? I rest my case.
I'm so sick of seeing these movies where married couples are just cuddling on the couch and caressing each other's faces.
Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors.
Do you know, Michael, he was - he touched the hearts of many people around the world. That's important. That's why the world cried when he passed because they understood him.
This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.
How many people do you know who have thrown up on the Scrambler or a carnival ride? A lot of people, is the answer.
That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked.
How many stories do you know about people cooped up in places because of deep snowfall? How many stories where something good happens to those people?
Do you know how many concerts I've done in my whole life, in more than 35 years of performing? Sixty-four.