Woody Allen Zitate auf Englisch

Zitat des Tages von Woody Allen:

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

Woody Allen

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.

Woody Allen

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

Woody Allen

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

Woody Allen

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

Woody Allen

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

Woody Allen

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Woody Allen

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Woody Allen

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

Woody Allen

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.

Woody Allen

Marriage is the death of hope.

Woody Allen

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down .

Woody Allen

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.

Woody Allen

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

Woody Allen

Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.

Woody Allen

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

Woody Allen

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

Woody Allen

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

Woody Allen

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

Woody Allen

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

Woody Allen

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

Woody Allen

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.

Woody Allen

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

Woody Allen

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

Woody Allen

I am two with nature.

Woody Allen

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

Woody Allen

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

Woody Allen

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

Woody Allen

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.

Woody Allen

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

Woody Allen

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.

Woody Allen

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

Woody Allen

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

Woody Allen

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

Woody Allen

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

Woody Allen

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.

Woody Allen