Mitch Hedberg Zitate auf Englisch

Seite 2

I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.

Mitch Hedberg

If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn't type any slower.

Mitch Hedberg

It's weird... people say they're not like apes. Now how do you explain football then?

Mitch Hedberg

I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.

Mitch Hedberg

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.

Mitch Hedberg

I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.

Mitch Hedberg

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Mitch Hedberg

I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.

Mitch Hedberg

I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that... day.

Mitch Hedberg

Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'

Mitch Hedberg

Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.

Mitch Hedberg

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

Mitch Hedberg

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

Mitch Hedberg

All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.

Mitch Hedberg