Groucho Marx Zitate auf Englisch

Zitat des Tages von Groucho Marx:

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

Groucho Marx

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Groucho Marx

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Groucho Marx

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Groucho Marx

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

Groucho Marx

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Groucho Marx

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

Groucho Marx

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Groucho Marx

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths.

Groucho Marx

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.

Groucho Marx

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

Groucho Marx

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

Groucho Marx

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

Groucho Marx

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.

Groucho Marx

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.

Groucho Marx

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

Groucho Marx

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.

Groucho Marx

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Groucho Marx

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

Groucho Marx

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Groucho Marx

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

Groucho Marx

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

Groucho Marx

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Groucho Marx

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

Groucho Marx

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Groucho Marx

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

Groucho Marx

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Groucho Marx

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.

Groucho Marx

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Groucho Marx

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Groucho Marx

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.

Groucho Marx

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

Groucho Marx

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Groucho Marx

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

Groucho Marx

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

Groucho Marx

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.

Groucho Marx