I'm an independent, but I got to admit I lean Democratic.
A man is only as faithful as his options.
I'll go back to comedy clubs when they get a real no-camera policy, the same way they did with smoking.
Jokes rot. They're not like songs. I always envy singers - Sting is always going to sing 'Roxanne'. But people want to hear new jokes. I've written jokes as good as 'Roxanne', I believe. But I can't tell them again.
You can only offend me if you mean something to me.
A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
I have no idea what my best material is. Different people like different things. I'll say this: The political stuff gets the press, but the relationship jokes sell all the seats.
I love being famous. It's almost like being white.
I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.
I'd like to be in a Spike Jonze movie. But I live in a Nancy Meyers movie.
