You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don't argue when a women tells you she's only making 80 cents to your dollar. It's the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles.
Dan Curry is the funniest guy in the world. I can sit in a room with him for hours, and he's just cracking me up constantly. And Kitao is the next Terry Gilliam. A lot of comedy directors are just comedic writers, but they don't have any sense of aesthetic or visual vocabulary.
If I had the gift of Jerry Seinfeld, of Bill Cosby, of Lewis Black, these instinctively brilliant comic minds, then you go that route! But you gotta know your limitations. I'm more of an actor, more of a process guy. I did Tom Snyder, just as Danny Aykroyd did on 'SNL.' I did it in the club.
I'm not going to say something I shouldn't. In that way, I was probably the perfect guy to play in New England.
My dad's a very shrewd, clever guy.
How can you wonder what's going to happen when you don't know who's going to be the new guy in town?
I'm a pretty low-stress guy. I take what the golf course gives me. Some days, when I'm in full control, I'm able to fire at pins with 5-irons. Other days, I'm looking more toward the middle of the green.
I was shooting for a Telugu film at the Taj Mahal in Agra, and there were all these women and children pointing and screaming, 'Rowdy Rathore.' But I am not really 'Rowdy Rathore.' I am the guy who did the original version of 'Rowdy Rathore' six years ago.
I became known as the guy who did the worst show in the history of television.
The nice girl meets a guy and acts like she joined a cult. In the beginning, a guy might ask her what she likes. The nice girl makes the mistake of shrugging her shoulders and saying: 'I like anything you like.'
I love Stewart Lee's 'Comedy Vehicle' on BBC2. The guy is a genius.
I'm not some cute guy who is trying to be successful off that. I really want the music to come first.
I would like to have a decathlon where all of my throws are really consistent and set the tone. That I'm good all-around, not just a speed and jump guy.
My father was the funniest guy I ever met. I'm not sure if I stole his stuff or if I inherited it.
I fly an aeroplane, and I think a lot about how much I do not want ever to run into an optimistic air traffic controller. I just don't. I want a guy down there who's just waiting for the worst crash possible and petrified that it's going to happen on his watch. And then I feel safe flying into his territory.
Women tell me they won't date a guy with bad shoes. There are good-looking guys with good-looking outfits, and then really bad-looking square toe I-don't-even-want-to-mention-the-label kind of shoes. There is no reason for that. Again, invest in something that looks proper. A great pair of shoes can make your old outfit look great, too.
Everything has added up to a load that I'm getting tired of carrying. It's gotten so complicated. It's the three failed marriages, and having kids that grew up without me, and it's the personal criticism, of being Mr. Nice Guy, or of divorcing my wife by fax, all that stuff, the journalism, some of which I find insulting.
Look at 'Batman' - that was theater of the absurd, as is 'Family Guy.'
I'm not the guy with the enormous comedy nose or the big feet or the bad posture or the whatever; a physical comic has certain things.
I don't believe there is one most romantic act that a guy can do; I think it is all about the couple in question, which totally differs. It's about you thinking about the person you are with and doing something tailored and thoughtful for them.
'Tax Collector' was optioned for a series with F/X, but it never happened. I guess they ran into a problem trying to figure out why someone would tune in to watch a show about a guy who works for the IRS.
Juan Williams is a very sharp guy.
Everyone has an opinion, and the guy screaming for censorship may be the next guy to have his ideas cut off.
If I had a daughter, and some guy came home with her, I'd be on him like a hawk. When I meet people's parents, I know my place. It's not that hard.
One time, I came off stage and a guy named Roman Decare, God rest his soul, he was a comic. 'Louie, if you do that family stuff, and you're a clean comic on stage, you'll become famous.' And, for some reason, a switch clicked, and I started doing the family stuff, and it became a giant part of my life.
You know a guy. You know what's their best pitch. But catching it - that's different.
Brian Cox is the nicest guy, but he's so arrogant.
I don't get cast as the guy who steps off a yacht in a white linen suit with a martini.
I'm not very much of a 'name it and shame it' kind of guy.
You know, I'm not saying, 'Oh, because I play a good guy on TV, I need to suddenly be villainous in a movie.' I look at it more like: does this role has a kind of urgency for me in terms of, 'Can I not say no to it for whatever reason?'
I've finally become an old guy.
I see pictures of myself and I always knew that what I was feeling didn't look like that guy in the pictures.
I'd like to think I'm a normal sort of guy, but go to my mum and she'll probably say, 'You know, Chris was always the daughter out of my three boys.'
Any actor I admire and enjoy working with - Sergi Lopez as the bad guy in 'Pan's Labyrinth,' or the little girl who played young Mako in 'Pacific Rim,' it makes no difference - I like actors with a very strong centre.
I fell in love with this idea of an old school game character, like Donkey Kong, who looks like a very simple guy but is really wrestling with this very profound struggle: 'What's the meaning of life? What if I don't like this job I've been programmed to do?'
I'm a real estate guy.
