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Two old Bachelors were living in one house; One caught a Muffin, the other caught a Mouse.
Damn the sword! When Virginia wanted a sword, I gave her one. Now she sends me a toy! I require bread!
Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day.
I take a lot of ladies' vitamins, because I never buy my own and that's what's in the house. More iron.
Hope... is the companion of power, and the mother of success; for who so hopes has within him the gift of miracles.
Dad built houses and when they were sold, he moved on to a new town, so I know a lot about my native state.
Cameron Diaz was so cute at the MTV Movie Awards when she pulled her skirt up and wiped her armpits.
A woman can bring a new love to each man she loves, providing there are not too many.
My mother was very agnostic. She would never set foot in the synagogue, she couldn't be doing with it.
