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Comedy is the toughest. If it goes little bit here and there, and your partner doesn't cover up for you, then everything can go wrong.
Books fall from Garry Wills like leaves from a maple tree in a sort of permanent October.
It is a great mistake on the part of elderly ladies, male and female, to tell a child that he is seeing his happiest days. Do not you believe a word of it, my little friend.
About once every four days, someone comes up to me and is like, 'Hey, I know you from somewhere.'
Windows 95 had its 20th anniversary last year, so we got our hands on an old system and showed it to teenagers who were not even alive in 1995. The results were pretty great and also makes you feel quite old.
The great apologist has to have lived large and wild. If he's going to kiss the world's boo-boos and make up, he'd better plant some bruises first. A master apologizer has to be a Lord Byron, a Rick in Casablanca, a Lee Atwater, anyway.
I don't think they like the idea that the people who are buying the record get to choose what goes out, because it's their job. The fans even pre-ordered stock to make sure that I had some sort of presence.
Comedy is such a vulnerable thing. With drama, you're not trying to make someone cry. If you do, great, but that's not your goal. With comedy, you're trying to make someone laugh, so to me, it's harder because you are in such a vulnerable position. You're like, 'I hope people like this. I hope I do the joke justice.'
Some days I want to get the boob job, some days I want to get the eye lift. Then other days, I'm like, 'Absolutely not! Have some integrity!'... But it's all about what makes you happy.