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If they would have told me when I was just 18 that I was going to have a career that would last so long, I'd have said it was impossible, that it was crazy that that could happen in my life, so I'm happy to be here. To be able to go out on stage every day.
Where else but in America could a schoolteacher from Kansas City end up the governor of her adopted state?
I would write 100 jokes a day. Most of them were terrible. But I just said, 'I'll write more than everybody else, and that's how I'll get better.'
But I've always been fascinated with that prettiest-girl-in-the-class person that I never was, getting inside her head and showing that she's just as tormented and messed up as everybody else.
We were just a gaggle of kids, and everybody played together and had a good time. You know how kids can be completely horrible - abusive but fun. But anyway, it was a nice childhood.
I love everything about Kansas City.
When I started training, I just started running every day, which you shouldn't do. I learned that lesson the hard way by getting a stress fracture.
In Athens I was 17 and I didn't have any expectations. I was just swimming fast and racing everybody. I didn't have the joy after my races in 2007. I didn't want to go to Beijing. I had to for sponsors.
We get to a point where we're like, you know what, one day we're just not gonna be here anymore, so I'm going to enjoy every second of it.
