Zitat des Tages von Ogden Nash:
Women would rather be right than reasonable.
There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that the best way to make friends is to do something terrible and then make amends.
The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.
Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.
Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.
Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.
Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?
I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.
Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.
Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is.
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.
I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.
The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.
The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.
Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?
I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.
Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.
Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.
I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.
If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.
Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.
Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.
I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.
I claim there ain't Another Saint As great as Valentine.
There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying them without money?
The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.
No, you never get any fun out of the things you haven't done.