Zitat des Tages von Lenny Bruce:
Communism is like one big phone company.
The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.
I don't have an act. I just talk. I'm just Lenny Bruce.
I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do.
If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.
There are never enough I Love You's.
Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.
I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to be if I grow up.
The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.
Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.
In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.
The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,' there is only what is.
I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.
If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.
The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.
Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
When you're eight years old nothing is your business.
I'm not a comedian. And I'm not sick. The world is sick, and I'm the doctor. I'm a surgeon with a scalpel for false values.
I don't read enough books, so I guess I'm pretty shallow. I'm a lot into the physical. With me, first attraction is never intellectual.
All my humor is based on destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I'd be standing in the bread line - right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.