Jay London Zitate auf Englisch

Zitat des Tages von Jay London:

I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.

Jay London

I'm on performance enhancing drugs, so I may cause drowsiness.

Jay London

I saw a stationery store move.

Jay London

I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time.

Jay London

Do you know it was a year a ago today?

Jay London

They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults.

Jay London

I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.

Jay London

I was born nine months premature.

Jay London

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.

Jay London

I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else.

Jay London

My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless.

Jay London

People read me but they don't subscribe.

Jay London

At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?

Jay London

You know what burns me? Matches.

Jay London

A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked.

Jay London

A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.

Jay London

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.

Jay London

After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride.

Jay London

I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it.

Jay London

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.

Jay London

I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger.

Jay London

Does anybody know what I'm doing up here?

Jay London

Did you know that today will never be tomorrow.

Jay London

I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.

Jay London

I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.

Jay London

I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody.

Jay London

My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings.

Jay London

I model irregular clothing.

Jay London

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

Jay London

I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.

Jay London

I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?

Jay London

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.

Jay London

I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent. They kicked me out for pan-handling.

Jay London