Lewis Black Zitate auf Englisch

Zitat des Tages von Lewis Black:

Parenting isn't just parenting your own child.

Basically, I started on stage yelling and I kept yelling, and then I yelled some more, and then I yelled even louder. I'm modulated now.

Lewis Black

If you're working out in front of a mirror and watching your muscles grow, your ego has reached a point where it is now eating itself. That's why I believe there should be a psychiatrist at every health club, so that when they see you doing this, they will take you away for a little chat.

Lewis Black

When people come to my act any time after Thanksgiving, I usually say, You shouldn't be here. You should be shopping. Our economy depends on you! You should be out there buying stuff.'

Lewis Black

In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this is evolution, I believe that in twelve years, we'll be voting for plants.

Lewis Black

Stupidity really gets me going, when it's just plain stupid, obvious stupidity.

Lewis Black

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

Lewis Black

Janeane Garofalo ended up, in a sense, being pushed by the media into becoming a pundit.

Lewis Black

There should be a law that you can't shut down the government - that you don't have that power.

Lewis Black

The core of the American public, their hearts and their minds are in the right place. And that gives me hope.

Lewis Black

What I've found in my career is that 70 to 75 percent of comics are nice and have some sense of social skills, but there are those who end up in comedy because they don't know how to socialize. I don't want to deal with that group.

Lewis Black

Republicans have nothing but bad ideas and Democrats have no ideas.

Lewis Black

My father worked at the Naval Ordnance Lab, and they had a nine-hole course on the property. You paid a quarter.

Lewis Black

When I'm funny is when I'm angriest.

Lewis Black

Most of the longer-term relationships I've known have been gay relationships. They seem to be able to hang out longer.

Lewis Black

The kids say golf taught them this and that. I get it with the military: A guy joins the military because he needs discipline and has to find himself. But don't tell me, 'Golf helps you find yourself.' I've been playing my whole life, and I'm still looking for myself.

Lewis Black

I think comics in New York are interested in being comics. And there're comics in L.A. who are touring comics, who are certainly more interested in stand-up, but a lot of L.A. stand-ups are really looking to do something else.

Lewis Black

The thing that makes my generation The Greatest is our ability to hang out. We're spectacular at it. If you take somebody from my generation and sit them on a couch and bring them food and plumbing, they'll sit there and talk to you about anything you want until the day you die.

Lewis Black

Democrats should be focused on which way we can help the most people in this country, and Republicans should be focused on how to do that in the most fiscally responsible manner possible.

Lewis Black

The people we elect aren't bipartisan. The American public is bipartisan.

Lewis Black

I don't understand how anybody's still a Democrat or a Republican. I don't know what they're basing it on.

Lewis Black

I'm constantly in fear of having a stroke.

Lewis Black

I think that many things that go on in an art school have a tendency to undermine confidence, and that shouldn't be part of the ballgame, ever.

Lewis Black

Lewis Black

I believe that summer is our time, a time for the people, and that no politician should be allowed to speak to us during the summer. They can start talking again after Labor Day.

Lewis Black

The Democrats have responded to the Republicans' lack of dealing with reality by truly not dealing with reality, either.

Lewis Black

Nobody in college races home and says, 'I can't wait to see the news! I can't wait to see who CBS is going to hire!'

Lewis Black

I don't buy the 'at 60 it's great to have kids' thing. I don't buy the line that has been thrown down - 'You can have a kid at any time.' That doesn't mean you should.

Lewis Black

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Lewis Black

I like indoor Christmas trees. And I like people who decorate their homes with lights and all that crap. I think it's a healthy outlet for them. If they weren't covering their lawns with twinkling lights, they'd be doing something that was really, really creepy.

Lewis Black

My parents were married for sixty-five years, and I was married for about ten minutes, my first year at Yale Drama School. Something, somehow, didn't get passed on to my generation.

Lewis Black

Political audiences are not fun.

Lewis Black

Everybody's got cable.

Lewis Black

I think one reason people play golf is it allows them to obsess about something other than the daily crap. It takes your mind off that.

Lewis Black

If the people of New Zealand want to be part of our world, I believe they should hop off their islands, and push 'em closer.

Lewis Black

People would be a lot better off if they'd enjoy being single.

Lewis Black

I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not.

Lewis Black