Zitat des Tages von Fran Lebowitz:
Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
Nothing succeeds like address.
Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.
Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully.
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching.
Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
My favorite animal is steak.
If you're going to America, bring your own food.
Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
I must take issue with the term 'a mere child', for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.
You're only as good as your last haircut.
As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.