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I can't stand up in front of people. It just fills me with horror.
We may eventually come to realize that chastity is no more a virtue than malnutrition.
I'm set up where I make a lot of money doing stand-up, and it's easy.
I prefer situational or character-based humor to gross-out gags and comedic set pieces.
We are a country of excess. So it's not the violence, per se, but the exacerbation and constant repetition.
Leftovers in their less visible form are called memories. Stored in the refrigerator of the mind and the cupboard of the heart.
Texas created more jobs in 2008 than the rest of the states - combined.
And if people do like me, I think it's because I'm a stand-up guy.
You can't make people laugh for more than half an hour and be consistent.
