Bleibe / Stay Dilemmata / Dilemmas Erhalten / Get Gehen / Go Hängen / Hang Jemand / Someone Loswerden / Rid Mensch / Human Rassel / Rattle Schädel / Skull Sie / You Wer / Who Wie / How Zwei / Two
I always wanted my stand-up to feel like not just a show, but like you're hanging out with someone for an hour. I like to just talk.
Some people think they should go to Heaven but not have to die to get there. Sorry, but that's simply not how it works.
If a man is dumb, someone is going to get the best of him, so why not you? If you don't, you're as dumb as he is.
I mean, if you decided to go out today and get you an instrument and do whatever it is that you do, no one can tell you how you're going to do it but when you do it.
If you really want to make a friend, go to someone's house and eat with him... the people who give you their food give you their heart.
I always say, 'What if you had to sell the house tomorrow?' And if it's too idiosyncratic, someone won't buy it and then it's a bad house.
You don't quit because you happen to be behind. You want to see how you do. And who knows? Maybe somebody will stumble.
Someone who doesn't take herself too seriously and can be a goofball. Because everyone's a nerd inside, I don't care how cool you are.
No matter what business you're in, you can't run in place or someone will pass you by. It doesn't matter how many games you've won.
