Zitat des Tages von Pamela Meyer:
Truth in our society often takes a back seat to securing gainful consequences.
The 'problem lies' are the half-dozen or so falsehoods we hear every day that can lead us down the wrong path in our careers, change how we do business, or dramatically influence our personal lives.
Tales of cheating on school and college tests are rife. There have been instances where teachers have given students test answers in order to make themselves look good on their performance reviews. Mentors who should be teaching the opposite are sending a message that lying and cheating are acceptable.
Lying is a cooperative act. Think about it. A lie has no power whatsoever by its mere utterance. Its power emerges when someone else agrees to believe the lie.
Contempt is the only asymmetrical facial expression, so it's easy to spot once you're aware of its signs. One researcher has successfully tracked it in couples as a predictor of divorce. When someone is angry at you, you've still got traction with them, but when they display contempt, you've been dismissed.
In the split-second before someone prepares to answer a question, he will consciously or subconsciously evaluate what the best possible answer might be. For a truthful person, the best possible answer might omit some information. It might have a few extraneous details. But it will still offer the information requested.
Genuine expressions of emotion rarely persist longer than five seconds and almost never longer than 10. A fixed smile is likely to conceal anger, anxiety, or some other negative emotion.
We lie more to strangers than we lie to co-workers. Extroverts lie more than introverts. Men lie eight times more about themselves than they do other people. Women lie more to protect other people.
It's counterintuitive to take a long time to hire someone, but it will save you enormous amounts of time and money later. Our biggest mistakes in hiring stem from speed.
Research indicates that a pause tends to be a signal that a cluster of deceptive cues is on its way. This is a key reason why voters routinely associate Trump with authenticity: He rarely pauses.
Lying is the rule, not the exception.
One immutable trait of the gullible is that they are credulous to a fault. Though no-doubt well-meaning, the naive are Trump's base.
Trump is a master obfuscator. Like an octopus escaping a predator, he releases a cloud of ink when called to the carpet on one of his many lies. His strategy? Obfuscate, then reference others. 'Millions agree,' 'everyone knows,' 'many have done it.'
Liars do look you in the eye. They do not always stutter, stammer, blush or fidget.
Like it or not, we are all liars. Thank goodness. Imagine going through life where everyone is completely honest: 'Those shoes... look like something out of an early Cyndi Lauper video.' 'Your daughter... looks like the spawn of Honey Boo Boo and Elmer Fudd.'
When a pointed question is beaten back with an attack or threat of, 'How dare you...' it's a reliable signal that deception is involved. Trump is a master at this.
If Edith Wharton lived in the Age of Innocence, surely we now live in the Age of Deception.
Contempt is the only asymmetrical expression in the muscular facial system: Disgust, fear, happiness, surprise and anger typically express themselves symmetrically. Contempt is marked by one lip corner pulled up and in a dismissive sneer.
While it can feel unfair to have to make a career decision because of a morally deficient boss, doing so can sometimes lead you in the right direction, if a bit faster than you otherwise would have preferred.
Not all lies are harmful. Sometimes we're willing participants in deception for the sake of social dignity, maybe to keep a secret that should be kept secret, secret. We say, 'Nice song.' 'Honey, you don't look fat in that, no.'
For the liespotter who knows how to listen well, the random words, sounds, and phrases in a person's speech are never as random as they seem. They offer a clear sightline into the liar's psyche.
Lying in the political sphere has gotten out of hand, and because people tend to dismiss things that challenge their preconceived notions of the world, fact checkers can only play a small part in remedying the problem.
Business is a battlefield. You need to be able to go to battle with your team members. Like the military. Know them, trust them, and know who you're working with.
Honest people remember stories in the order of emotional prominence, but liars will recount a story in chronological order. Memory rarely works that way.
A good lie detector doesn't jump to conclusions but tries to understand the person across the table, her personality, and her motivations. Your goal as a lie spotter isn't to point the finger and say, 'You're lying' - your goal is to get to the truth.
Breaks in trust are infuriating and hurtful, but they don't entitle you to flame out, throw a fit, or stomp around rolling your eyes. Try to keep the steam from coming out of your ears.
