Milton Berle Zitate auf Englisch

Zitat des Tages von Milton Berle:

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.

Milton Berle

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

Milton Berle

Money can't buy you happiness, but it helps you look for it in a lot more places.

Milton Berle

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

Milton Berle

I live to laugh, and I laugh to live.

Milton Berle

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Milton Berle

I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.

Milton Berle

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Milton Berle

Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient.

Milton Berle

They've finally comes up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.

Milton Berle

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting.

Milton Berle

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

Milton Berle

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Milton Berle

I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?

Milton Berle

People say I owe a lot to television. The fact is I was a star long before television. What TV made me is unemployed.

Milton Berle

I have a file of four million jokes... I have them cross-indexed. Whatever subject you want, I have a joke on it.

Milton Berle

It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now.

Milton Berle