Zitat des Tages von J. B. Smoove:
When you speak directly at things and don't say you're going to try to do something or that you hope to do something, the universe will work with you. Think about it this way - a boomerang goes out and comes back to you if you throw it. If you throw it out at the universe, it will come back down to you on Earth.
I have my website, The Ruckus, which is an Internet site, similar to the Funny or Die format, where people post funny videos. I get a chance to rate their videos; they get a chance to blog and kick it with me.
Some of the best dramatic actors have started in comedy.
I have big hands. I can't do the touch-screen thing. I'm a button guy. I want to press buttons.
I love to pitch things that I believe in and products that I love to use.
There's book smart, there is street smart, there's relationship smart, there's too many different kinds of smarts to know all of them. Everybody doesn't know every kind of smart. There's money smart, there's movie smart, there's computer smart. There's just too many different kinds of smarts for people to know all the smarts.
I drive a big Dodge truck. I drive American cars.
You gotta improvise in life. You gotta improv if the police pull you over.
Before I got into stand-up, I used to be a hip-hop dancer in a crew, and my name was J. Smoove, and my partner was J. Groove.
I'm afraid one thing - I don't like heights. Heights bug me out. I'm not cool with heights. I refuse to do a comedy show 12 stories up. I'm fearless about everything else.
Kids love me. I can bounce back and forth. I can discipline kids, and I can get into the mind of a kid. In my brain, I consider myself the ultimate video game player. The ultimate snack maker.
A lot of comedians are selfish.
What happens in improv is you create your own storyline.
Remember Tupperware? That was the toughest stuff ever. Why can't they make a phone out of Tupperware?
Women put guys through tests all the time.
I tell people all the time, as I was going through my process of being a comedian or being an actor and a writer at 'SNL,' I tell people that everything you do is all a piece of your puzzle to determine where you're going to end up at.
I should be European, man. I'm long and lean. I'd look good in a trench coat.
It's not even race; it's a certain type of person that gets 'Pootie Tang.'
Live TV has an amazing pace to it. You've got to be able to think quick, make changes last minute, and be funny and fast.
You got to start by doing little things if your quest is to take over the world.
I thought 'Pineapple Express' was hilarious.
I can apply myself to the format of 'SNL,' I can apply myself to the format of 'Conan,' but at the same time, I'm still being J. B. Smoove. I'm not changing up my style, I'm not changing up how I think, what's funny to me, my delivery, the way I carry myself.
Improv relies just as much on listening as it does you delivering dialogue. That's the hard for some people. Some people just concentrate on what they're going to say, and they're not listening. You have to listen in order to see where the other person is going to.
I'm trying to be the Jay-Z of comedy one day. I don't know if there's any comedy moguls out there, but I would love to be the first comedy mogul.
You buy a new iPhone, a few months later, another new iPhone comes out, and you get online to buy another one. You can't get enough. You are addicted to Apple.
All you wanna do in life is do what you do well. That's when you're happiest.
I don't like to dabble in anything I don't do well. I don't talk politics.
True Yankees fans know an up-and-coming player when they see one.
It's an ongoing joke that a black man is always the first one to get killed in movies.
For me, standup will always be some part of my life, and other things will move around and find their place.
People love things about Hollywood. People love to see the inside of what's going on.